Intro Trap Song: Xavier Wulf, "Philosopher's Throne"
This Episode's Big Thought or Question:
Poor people don't have time to make investments. Poor people are too busy trying not to be poor.
Don't trust people who smoke swishas with no weed.
Little black kids cursing and people thinking it's cute.
Older Black men robbing young Black boys.
Best Darius Quotes
"Everything's made up, nigga. Stay woke."
"Chinese people are short. Cause of Genghis Khan."
Earn and Alfred are standing outside of a club when they are accosted by a racially ambigous man who proceeds to use the word "nigga" way more than I am comfortable within a manner of 30 seconds. He trolls Earn and Alfred in real life by trying to be apart of their squad and pushing the following hashtags: #zanlivesmatter, #zanstan, #zansexual, #zanlife. This is the moment when Black Twitter goes up because we know we've run across this type of trollin real life. Racically Ambiguous Man brings the scene to a close with his antics and we know that we will be seeing him again real soon.
Scene: Everything is made up.
We see Earn waking up and he is straight into the barrel of a gun. Alfred realizes that Racially Ambigous Man (RAM) is going off on social media about how wack Alfred is- so Alfred starts thumb thugging in retaliation. Darius and Earn are going off to run an errand together which leaves me to wonder when they ever became friends. Earn and Darius are having a heart to heart talk about which white person or government entity started AIDS on purpose when we find out that Darius is Nigerian. (NOPE.) Alfred is still checking for his RAM troll online when he realizes that he has made even more videos about how his music is trash and this gets Alfred big mad. Trolls for the win.
Scene: Black people don't know who Steve McQueen is.
Earn and Alfred are in the pawnshop because Earn is trying to sell his cell phone for money. He's just about to get paid when Darius calls him over to get a sword. Earn was about to get $190 which was more than his last direct deposit and I'm hoping that he hasn't done anything foolish. The pawn shop owner tells both of them that even though he has a Steve Mcqueen poster hanging up in his shop- he has no idea who he is and he only keeps it for protection from getting robbed.
Scene: How am I supposed to spell failure when you're out here taking all the L's?
RAM is out here flaming Alfred online again, calling his music trash, his rap name trash, he even has fake blood coming out of his ear as he is listening to the mixtape. I hate him but love his petty genes. Also, I'm here for the cracked Iphone. Alfred is concerned that his business infrastructure (drugs) will be affected by all of this trash talk on the internet. An old man tells him that RAM was looking for him earlier in the day when he was smoking a swisha with no weed. The old man then tells him that he knows where he works, so you know they're going to find him.
Scene: Can you block someone on a flip phone?
Alfred and Darius are still trying to travel on the pathway to more success so that they can swap this Kill Bill sword for some more bread. They trade in the sword with some Asian dude in an Asian crackhouse (?) and their connect comes out with this enormous dog instead of money. A quick tradeup, Darius says. The plot thickens.
Scene: It's all a game. We're all just hustlin'.
Alfred is waiting for RAM to get off work, which surprise-he works at a pizza place. He invites Alfred to ride with him and I see this little kidnapped Black boy in the back of his car. Alfred tries to explain to him that online harassment is not cool for business and even though, it may look and feel fun- it can damage people's reputations. RAM tells him that everybody is out here trying to make a dollar so what does it matter how he gets it? Alfred tells him that he hustles because he has to (he scares people at the ATM). RAM tells him that he is exploiting his situation to make rap and he is just exploiting Alfred's exploitation. We find out the kidnapped Black boy is actually a true life Vine star that is RAM's business partner who is famous for having a filthy trashcan mouth. Alfred is not impressed with Trash Can Mouth and tells him to put his seatbelt on.
Scene: I need to eat today...not in September.
We find out that Trash Can Mouth delivers pizzas for RAM on top of being exploited for being poor and Black. Trash Can Mouth gets robbed as he is delivering pizzas and RAM records everything. Alfred is fed up with everything and he just leaves. Meanwhile, Earn and Darius are finishing their pathway on the road to more success. Darius tells him that he will get 2k-4k for the dog, and Earn is hella excited. Darius is super excited, but Earn doesn't see any money. Darius says that he will get the money for the dog in September after the farmer breeds the Cane Corso puppies. Earn is ready to FLIP because he's broke and can't afford to wait until September for his come up. He needs it now. Darius tries to explain to him the benefit of an investment, but he knows he messed up so he offers to give Earn his phone because he switches it out every month to make sure the government isn't tracking him. Earn then looks into the sunlight because- what is life?